Life Lessons From GWAR

by Charlie Doom

GWAR has perhaps been more successful at offending people than taking over the world, but that hasn’t stopped the self-proclaimed “Scumdogs of the Universe” from trying to do both. I had a chance to interview the band in person at the 2010 Bonnaroo music and arts festival in Manchester, TN, but was declined with a rubber-sheathed middle finger to the face. However, I am a persistent bastard with a fearless work ethic who doesn’t stop until he gets his way….

Are you improving as a band?
That’s for other’s to say. We know we’re great already.

How do you push yourselves creatively?
The only thing we’re pushing are our fat cocks right down society’s windpipe.

You’ve been rocking for almost two decades, what does it take for a working musician to earn a buck these days?
More like 20 million decades, if such a measure of time exists — which it does not! As far as making a buck, I wouldn’t know anything about that. I don’t own any money. But it is different — back then [when we started] there wasn’t any crack.

On tour, what do you never leave home without?
1) Beaver Butts
2) Turd-Burglar’s
3) Whopper Kings
4) All These Things

Can you give us a glimpse into the creative process; how you get from an idea to a finished song?
No, I can’t. No, I won’t is more like it. It’s none of your business.

Four bands every aspiring space rocker should know? Motorhead because they rule. Kiss because they don’t. Thin Lizzy because they rock. And GWAR because of our fat cocks.

How to make it as a musician? First, get born. Second, get metal. Third, get bent.

Recipie for Metal? It has to be really loud with lots of guitars, drums and some dude screaming his head off. Throw in a bunch of amps and shit. And add electricity! But, no, there is no law to it.

Any plans for planet Earth? I suppose we will continue on with the titanic celebrations that accompany our two-year long 25th anniversary Slay-a-bration so, we are getting ready to sack America and Europe… again!

Best career advice you’ve ever recieved? Find a good drummer and don’t be afraid to quit at any moment!

The sci-fi themed shock rockers, GWAR, formed in 1984 and have “enslaved” a cult-like legion of fans with their brand of technical thrash metal and outrageous stage performances. As to why they wear the latex monster suits — read their bio.  – Charlie Doom